Put Down Your Phone

I need to start this off by admitting that there are times when I have been guilty of exactly what I am writing about. The issue is our phones, specifically smartphones, and how much control we have allowed them to have over our attention.

Based solely on my observations, I think we have a problem. People are constantly looking at their phones. And before we blame the younger generation, this isn’t just a teenager problem. I see it with people of all ages, from kids to senior citizens. Smartphones have managed to cross just about every generational line.

Set your phone down sometime and simply observe the people around you.

Look around a restaurant. You will see people sitting together with little or no conversation, all looking at their phones. You see people walking with their faces buried in a screen, with little awareness of what is going on around them. People go on tours and instead of watching the sights or listening to the tour guide, they are looking at their phones. I have even seen people riding bicycles one handed while looking at a phone.

We are on a camping trip right now, and tonight I noticed a couple at the site across from us. They had a nice fire going and were sitting next to each other. But instead of facing each other and talking, they were both staring at their phones. Maybe they were perfectly happy doing that, but it struck me as a good example of what has become normal.

I take a walk every morning and regularly pass other people out for their morning walks. More and more of them are walking with their faces in their phones. Yesterday, a man would have walked right into me if I had not adjusted my path. He wasn’t being rude. He simply had no idea I was there because his attention was completely focused on his phone.

Again, this isn’t something we can pin on teenagers or young adults. I see people my age doing exactly the same thing. Somewhere along the way, constantly checking a phone became acceptable behavior for just about everyone.

Try a little experiment sometime. Start a conversation with someone and, at an appropriate point, stop talking. Don’t immediately fill the silence. See how long it takes before someone reaches for their phone. For many of us, a few seconds of inactivity seems to be all it takes.

There are plenty of explanations for why smartphones are such a difficult habit to break. Apps, notifications and social media are designed to keep us checking for the next message, update or bit of information. Whatever the reason, reaching for the phone has become almost automatic.

I don’t have an answer for how to get people to stop, and as I admitted at the beginning, I am guilty of it myself. But I know I don’t like it when I am having a conversation with someone and their phone dings and suddenly their attention shifts to the screen. Or when there is a brief lull in the conversation and out comes the phone.

Most text messages and direct messages can wait. If something is truly important, chances are someone will call. I certainly don’t have a problem with someone answering a call from a family member when we are together. That’s different from constantly checking a phone simply because it is there.

Maybe the first step is simply recognizing how often we do it.

There is a lot happening around us that doesn’t come with a notification. There are people sitting across from us, scenery we traveled hundreds of miles to see, conversations worth having and quiet moments worth enjoying.

This isn’t about one generation needing to change. It’s something all of us could probably work on.

We need to spend more time focusing on the moment and less time letting a phone decide where our attention goes.

Sometimes the most important thing you can do with your phone is put it down.